FACT- Cold weather makes you crave muffins.
I made a recipe for you. That’s a rarity. And on my birthday too! These little guys are still carbohydrates, still a quick fuel source, but I think they’re worth it! Totally paleo, gluten and dairy free; the perfect combo for my body, and maybe yours too? My Pure Fuel girls have already whipped up multiple batches. “So easy and delicious!” I concur. Add this to your vegetable hash breakfast perhaps!
FAITH – My Food Freedom story.
Our Whole30 Instagram takeover is tomorrow and I realize it’s time to open up. Hard to write, but worthwhile. More will unravel, but this is a start.
This was my gluten/corn/dairy/beef free lifestyle during college as a single woman with little value for anything but the perceived approval of men, my dress size and mile time. This is not health.
October 2011…I was so happy to find that my three day stomach flu had dropped my weight to a number that made me feel complete. I was going to look so lean for my birthday. Maybe R would finally broach that DTR subject.
I started my day with a sugar-free white chocolate Americano topped with almond milk because; health. After 45 minutes on the Stairmaster and some light resistance training I consumed my standard breakfast. Not one, but two Quest Bars for breakfast because; variety. I felt really guilty because they contained whey and I knew along with theatprebiotic fiber, they would upset my stomach but… flat tummy goals, amiright? I tried to hold out for a late lunch since my birthday party was that night and my size 2 dress had to fit. I’ll be fine after a midday 3 mile run. Lunch was some scrambled egg whites, with broccoli, spinach and hummus. To drink? A diet coke.
After my run, I got an unexpected phone call; R cancelling on my birthday plans. I couldn’t cope. I had tried so hard to be perfect. I sobbed into the basket of gluten-free sugar cookies that I had made to welcome his arrival. I ate them all. EFF it all. I had no one to look good for. I will burn these calories off tomorrow.
Two hours later, my best friend arrived home to console me. “Let’s get out; grab a drink”. I ended my day with my two closest friends, a broken heart and two empty skinny margarita glasses. Swollen face from the corn chips, slightly drunk, I counted up my calories.. 1700? Ughhh.
I can start over tomorrow, I thought, as my anxiety raised. That dress won’t fit, I’ll have to return it. I’ll never get this weight back off. I was so close! I’m going to look so fat for class tomorrow. How could I let emotions, MEN, get the best of me. Ugh. I am a failure. Why am I even studying to be a dietitian? I can’t even meet my macros! Look at that fat roll over my pants. I shouldn’t have eaten those cookies. 17% body fat, highly unlikely now! If I drink a shitton of water and take psyllium husk tonight, maybe I’ll reduce some of the damage…
This unhealthy cycle continued for a few years. I used my environment as an excuse; surrounding myself with fitness professionals who were always looking to be skinnier, more fit, more lean. After too many stress fractures and a few hospital visits, I got fed up. I threw myself into a renewed and close relationship with my Lord, research on the emotional relationship of food during my graduate program, found a real loving relationship, and yes- did another Whole30 really focusing on proper reintroduction while reading Food Freedom; not for WHAT foods I could tolerate but for HOW I could emotionally heal my toxic relationship with food.
Oddly enough, when I let go of the intense control I had inflicted on my lifestyle, my stress lifted. I didn’t need to be vegan, on top of my other necessary diet modifications. I didn’t need to not eat unless I had worked out in the morning or skip dinner on rest days. Potatoes, were in fact, not the Devil.
And quite literally, weight came off my shoulders. I moved my body in ways I wanted to, sweat on sunny running dates and in salsa classes with my husband. I maintained my weight, even when I wasn’t neurotically checking it. I started eating real food, putting nutrients in, and seeing my skin/hair/nails glow without the need for as many products and facials. My deficiencies healed, I stopped my heavy and expensive supplementation. Looking back on MyFitnessPal app now, I was constantly “going over” my goal; and I actively shamed myself for that. My body was crying out for more nutrients. more energy, in it’s wasted state.
Now, I eat when I’m hungry. I eat a balanced meal. I honor my body’s needs. And, ironically, most of my clothes still fit. Not all of them. But that’s not my main concern anymore. I’m likely 3-5lbs more than I was then. But I’m also faster, because my body now contains well-tended nutrient-rich muscle. And, I’m happier, stronger, and full of self-love. Self-love came first, it had to, before I could help anyone else find it. But now, I spend my day desperate to help others experience it.
Let this honest account inspire you, knowing that there is more to life available to you. That even the professionals fail, struggle, and find hope. That your weight is not your worth. That you can be beautiful despite the number on the tag attached to your dress.
As my loving husband now reminds me, on the days I feel myself falling back to restriction, “I wouldn’t have married the girl you were in college.” Obsessive, neurotic and undernourished isn’t attractive; even disguised in a size 2 red dress. The cycle is vicious. Hurtful. Destructive. Worthless. It’s time to heal. More in my Instagram post.
FOOD featuring Zubiate’s Cocina
I made this dish this weekend for a friend’s potluck dinner and it was more than a hit. Zubiate asked me to trial their crema and salsa with a new upgraded formula featuring organic safflower oil instead canola oil. I’m so impressed by companies who continually aim to improve the quality of their product. Try my healthified bean dip below.
- In a medium mixing bowl stir together refried beans, canned tomatoes, chili powder, cumin, 1/4 tsp garlic powder and season with salt and pepper to taste (about 1/2 tsp salt/ 1/4 tsp pepper). Spread mixture into an even layer in 7 by 11-inch baking dish.
- Mash avocado with lime juice. Mix in cilantro and season with remaining 1/4 tsp garlic powder and salt to taste. Spread into an even layer over the bean layer in baking dish, then spread crema over avocado layer.
- Next, add a layer of cauliflower rice, black olives then top with tomatoes and green onions. Serve with Siete Tortillas chips. Dip can be made a day in advance, just cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.
This opinion was not paid for. The dish is delicious without bias!